i haven't watched a footie match in eons..well, i haven't sat through a full match without either falling asleep or just plain losing interest. i don't look out for the slots when ChelseaTV is on channel 27 anymore (cos i can't bear to see JM in the stands whenever they show classic matches). i don't listen to my Chelsea Fc podcasts that are automatically downloaded to my itunes (cos HONESTLY, i dont care what Avram Grant says). i don't read every single article in the Sports section like i used to. For Christ's sake, i don't even watch Sportscentre religiously anymore...
i'm becoming a girl! *tragic* NOOOOOOOO
haven't gone to the range in exactly 6 months now. haven't even given badminton a go (well its not like my brothers are young and carefree to play with my anymore.we all have our own lives now)
cricket. i really miss just playing cricket. i loved the warmup where i hooked up with my usual partners D or Wan Leng and played catch, basically. with tennis balls..haha how nooby. but we used to make it more interesting by having "how many times can you pass without dropping" haha. and there was the encouragement all round when you bowled a good ball during bowling practice. i would've shouted out "Bohuth Acha!" but nobody would've gotten me innit :P (and "Vell Done!" didnt become my catchphrase till much later, so....) It was such a relaxed atmosphere and i felt so comfortable among the girls..no politics, no bitchiness, no fights. (DRASTIC change from Anderson, where no captain's ball/ hockey game ended without a fight or confrontation or shouting match or..you get the idea : holy drama maaaan.. )
there was even greater satisfaction from games in the last hour of every training session, where the girls numbered off and you got all sorts on your team, and even though it was just a "friendly" you played to win. well, I did at least. i think i took it a bit too seriously sometimes but that's only because playing cricket..made me feel alive. Genuinely. especially when i went up to bat, i've never been able to focus so singlemindedly on anything..just whacking the bugger. and being so concious that coach was watching and that my performance here would inevitably determine whether i made it to the team or not...even though that bit took place much later. new sport, new skills, only yindian left...i really felt like i needed to prove something.
golf on the other hand, never fails to make me inadequate. i don't love golf, its a challenge for me. Cos i'm one of the bigger kids but i can't play as half as well as the young 'uns who started from age 2. Because there is no consistency in my play..i have more bad days than good ones. Golf brings out the worst in me..i play it far too emotionally. if i hit a bad shot..i take a long time to recover because its eating me up inside and i feel like a failure for messing up a vital stroke. the problem is, every stroke is vital. so tough luck for me, eh? especially when i'm playing against Vivek and Ashwin who're just naturally gifted at the sport,and my dad, who plays almost every week. i get pwned every time. but i still play anyways, cos i derive pleasure from bashing my ego, and lowering my self esteem, and ultimately reminding myself that i am insignificant in this world.
need to keep the arrogance and overconfidence in check, ya know? i AM a masochist. big k was right...
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