You, my friend, are the greatest song-writing duo to ever grace this planet...in one human being! If Paul and John had a kid (think Conan), your pretty mug would be poppin' out of their man-uteruses. You rule. You would, in fact, be the perfect specimen of mankind, if not for a bit of arrogance due to your fuckin-greatness. You are intellectual and political, but you don't take yourself too seriously. You have enough sense of self to fall in love with the Right woman, without letting her take away your integrity or drain your of your individuality or make you write songs like 'Simply Having a Wonderful...' You are a leader, but you are balanced: You can handle things on your own. You don't need someone else to keep you from going too far down one track...from getting too boxed in. We love you sooo much, and we hate you for being so loved by so many others as well. You also look like Pete Best (for now). And, you could also be described by combining the following two descriptions: ******************************************************* You're cute. You used to be ambitious, but now you've decided to enter into a sort of hedonistic happy-fest. You turn a blind eye to human pain and sorrow because, quite frankly, you don't want to look at it. You lead a happy, healthy life, you treat your boyfriends and girlfriends well. You are, in fact, quite 'normal,' if exceptional in your talent. You feel sorry for animals, and place them high on your value list, because focusing on Their pain is a lot easier than focusing on the pain of humanity, or, in fact, on your own pain. You suffered a severe loss in your youth, and you have decided to create an illusion of perfect happiness and la la prettiness for yourself as your coping mechanism. You are the popular one, but most of your friends think you're kinda cheesy or self-absorbed. The only negative emotion you really let yourself feel is hate...For Michael Jackson, or the one who betrayed you, in the core of your being. You are constantly seeking approval in an ostensibly humble way, so when someone steals your work, you get downright ornery. The truth is, you brighten our days for short periods of time. But there's so much more to the emotional range of life...longing, sorrow, sex, etc., that we quickly get bored or agitated with your silly love songs...Yes, the world has had quite enough of those, thank you very much. And that Christmas song. Really. No. Enough. Stop. Now. If you don't stop, I'm going to de-knight you. I know what you do at those knight-clubs. Yeah, that's right, I was chillin' with Elton John the other night, and he'd gone a little too far down the drunk-as-shit road, and started letting a thing slip here or there. So that's right. No more simply having a wonderful. stop. I said. No. I meant it. Fuck you. Just. Fuck you. ********************************************************* That's right, you're the intellectual, the socialist, the 'literary' one amongst your friends. You become obsessive over certain things. You have an intense focus. People look up to you, but they also scorn you: You have a tendancy to be pretentious and to think that you are Always in the right. And, oh, yeah, that girlfriend or boyfriend you have? That's just another sign of your stubborness. You think he/she is always right, and you'll defend him/her 'till the end of the earth. Which is noble, in a way, but, really, that person's kinda wacky. Deep down, beneath your high-brow socialistic love-is-great-peace-is-easy-and-I-know-the-secrets-of-the-universe exterior, you are really a lost little boy or girl who was rejected at an early age. And when you let someone inside of that wall, you trust them completely, and are willing to change yourself in order to fit that mold. And that's why the friend-group doesn't get together as much anymore. I don't believe you when you say you lost my cell-phone number. It's 555-5555 for God's sake. Commie Bastard.
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