401st post

well...wouldja look at that. i didn't realise until too late that i was in the 390's range for posts (even i was chock shocked by that) and i was looking forward to what the content of my 400th post would be (whether i realised i was writing it or not). turns out i missed the chance to control the content of the milestone 400th post but hell, its not like i realised when i hit my 100th/200th/300th post.

so i estimate i'd hit 400 with this post and i came online to bloggity blog and whaddya know, my blog was MISSING! i thought it was clean wiped off the face the blogosphere cos some of my mates couldn't see it either..it was panic+anxiety+ a pure pure sense of emptiness and loss that arose out of losing one of my outlets for my memories. thoughts, idiosyncracies, phlogging, music plugging, chelsea bashing, chelsea fawning, golf talk, germany/nz/bintan loving, star wars fangirl-ing and the like. you get the idea. this blog is impt to me and i swear i never expected it to turn out this way when i did my very first post back on August 08 2004.

i still have the same template i started out with :P its not exactly a reflection of my personality but its unobtrusive and in the background so it doesn't take away from the posts. le posts are ze focus :) to think, its been more than 2 years and i'm still at it and i really don't think i'll ever stop (*prays* please please dont make me eat my words)
















speaking of memories, i got an email from my family friend Anissha during the week, attached with a couple of pics taken in our childhood. you know how it is that family friends are your first real group of homies and best buds since you start with them first and move on to the other people as time passes(and you got to different schools/ move off to different countries etc..)? well i felt the sting of losing these 2 girls when Anissha(the ickle one with the bob) and her family moved off to Vienna, Austria. but before that, Nadisha (the one with the medium length straight hair and fringe), who's the same age as me. moved off too Hertsfordshire in England with her family and i was pretty much stuck here battling it out with the s'pore education system(and getting through it pretty alright, thanks very much). it was a CRUSHING feeling when one left after another and i felt like my anchor has been unceremoniously tugged out of the sand and i was left to float off aimlessly with no grounding.

and i don't think i'll ever get back to square one. when you're feeling melancholic and lamentful like i am, there's always coldplay to save the day.

oh, brother I can’t get through

I’ve been trying hard to meet you

‘cause I don’t know what to do

oh, brother I can’t believe it’s true

I’m so scared about the future

and I want to talk to you

oh,I want to talk to you

you can take a picture of something you see

in the future, where will I be?

you can climb a ladder up to the sun

or a write a song nobody has sung

or do something that’s never been done

are you lost or incomplete?

do you feel like a puzzle?you can’t find your missing piece?

tell me, how do you feel?

well, I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak

and they’re talking it to me

so you don’t know where you’re going

and you want to talk?

and you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before?

you tell anyone who’ll listen, but you feel ignored?

nothing’s really making any sense at all?

let’s talk

let’s talk

let’s talk

let’s talk

in the end,all i can say is...To be continued